stand still...

I kind of knew that starting my record in November would mean that there would be a break in progress in December for the holidays. Well, that break is here. I'm antsy to be in the studio again but Jered keeps reminding me that we're not in a rush. I know we're not in a rush, but I want to feel that sense of satisfaction, that I'm moving closer to a finished product and something I've been dreaming of for so long. Today I saw on facebook a fellow singer/songwriter having her album finally finished after such a long wait and I was like "Oooh I can't wait until that is me!" It's going to be a while still but part of me wishes I could just snap my fingers and have my finished record in my hands and start crying little tears of joy. BUT then the other part of me is telling me to enjoy the process and the waiting and the scheduling and rescheduling of studio time because it will all feel so worth the wait when it's done. *dramatic sigh*

Jered was in the studio last week for his first session putting down drum tracks. He was there for a few hours and finished one song called "Heavy Heart." I haven't heard it yet but I am excited to see what he did with the song. We've played it live a million times over and I loved what he did live, so I have complete faith in him that he did something great. I wish I could have been there, but unfortunately our schedules are so opposite that he went while I was working during the day. He was supposed to be going again yesterday but setting up his drums, mic-ing them, recording and then taking them down in time to get to work just couldn't be done. He's going to take a few days in early january off of work and get it all done in one go so he can get his set up and keep it - he tells me so that the drum tracks are consistent.

Starting to work on this record has unleashed a longing for a creative outlet in me that I think I temporarily forgot about. It's so easy when you have a day job to just bunker down into the daily routine and just getting work done and getting home to read or relax, kind of letting that creative side hibernate or become dormant. I have been writing over the last few months, but just fragments of songs and ideas. Suddenly I keep having this feeling that good things are brewing inside of me, inside of my heart that I just want to let out and share with people. It's like I have so many ideas now not only for songwriting, but for writing stories, for making music videos, for touring, writing jingles, for indie films. It's a bit overwhelming because I don't really know where to start. I don't know what to pick out of this melting pot of ideas and actually act on. I know that some of these ideas can only come to fruition when the album is done, so those I can sort of file away in the back of my head for the time being. Others keep nagging at me to do something with them, so I'm trying to sort that out. It's like that exciting little feeling in the pit of your stomach that something good is going to happen, but I think that's just the feeling of inspiration that I have gone without for a while making an appearance, and well... it inspires me.

I had a rare spare moment this past sunday afternoon to curl up on my couch with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate in my new favorite mug (that my super crafty friend Christina made in her pottery class) & watch my favourite parts of "Once" - one of my favorite movies of all time, that if you haven't seen it, you should make a point to in the very near future. At the beginning of the movie there is this scene where Glen Hansard is just wailing in the streets "Say it to me now." Everytime I hear this song and watch this scene it cuts RIGHT to my heart. I want to write music that is so emotionally raw and real that people are changed by it. Marketa Irglova - one of the actresses & writers from "Once" - spoke about hope in her oscar acceptance speech and I think what I am feeling right now is a combination of inspiration and hope. Hope to be inspired and inspired to have hope, for my music, for my life, for my future.

So Happy Christmas & all that to you who read this blog (if there are any of you out there that is) and I wish you much hope and inspiration for the new year. More recording news to come in 2010.

Cheers! xo