what do you hear?

I lost my voice after singing so loudly and enthusiastically over Christmas holidays with my family. I'm lucky to have a family who loves to play audience for me & my husband & brother... we played for hours and hours for days while we celebrated Christmas. Tonight I tried to write a song, but couldn't sing enough to hum out a melody.. so I decided to abandon the "song" part and just write - for the first time in a long time. Here is a poem... just words I whispered alone to myself in a bubble bath.

what do you hear?

when you're alone

and there's no one around

when you drown out the noise

and you don't make a sound

what do you hear?

do you hear the quiet release of your breath

or the echo of your heart beat deep in your chest

what do you hear?

i hear a promise

i hear a prayer

when you're alone

and there's only just you

when you let go of everything

you frantically hold onto

what do you hear?

do you hear the whisper of a familiar friend

or have you fought it so long that you no longer can

what do you hear?

i hear affirmations

i hear truths

when you're alone

and there's no one around

when you drown out the noise

and you don't make a sound

what do you hear?

seeds

I was at the spa yesterday with my best girl Annelise for her birthday celebration, and after our four hour appointment the owner had us pull "fortunes/soul reflections" that were written on pretty sand dollars & stones. My soul reflection read "your thoughts are seeds. your words water them, what are you growing today?" which was definitely coincidental because I started writing this song about seeds the very night before. Here's what I have so far.

a little seed

verse
I feel something rising up in me
Something good and something sweet
Something no one else can see

I'm a little afraid to let it go
To give it room and let it grow
It's only just a little seed

chorus
But it's taking root in me
It's growing fast and turning green
I don't even know what it might be
But it's just a little seed
Just a little seed

daddy's little girl

*wrote this song with my lovely friend daneel irons - www.daneel.ca

verse
i remember the wind in my hair shouting
"daddy don't let go"
the day you took those training wheels off
and led me down that old back road

do you remember the days when i,
was just a twinkle in your eye
cause that was so many years ago, when i was

chorus
daddy's little girl
curled up by your side
and there was nothing in the world
to make me run and hide,
as daddy's little girl

verse
these days i'm a hundred miles away
making it on my own
but i love how we keep counting down the days
til i come home

big city, big dreams
it's all right here in front of me
but at the end of the day i'll always be

chorus
daddy's little girl
curled up by your side
and there is nothing in the world
to make me run and hide
as daddy's little girl

bridge
this distance feels a little bit further
your arms wrap a little bit tighter
our goodbyes last a little bit longer
but my love for you
just keeps getting stronger, cause i am

chorus
daddy's little girl
curled up by your side
and there is nothing in the world
to make me run and hide
as daddy's little girl
as daddy's little girl

Copyright 2009 Lisa Evangelos & Daneel Irons

stand still...

I kind of knew that starting my record in November would mean that there would be a break in progress in December for the holidays. Well, that break is here. I'm antsy to be in the studio again but Jered keeps reminding me that we're not in a rush. I know we're not in a rush, but I want to feel that sense of satisfaction, that I'm moving closer to a finished product and something I've been dreaming of for so long. Today I saw on facebook a fellow singer/songwriter having her album finally finished after such a long wait and I was like "Oooh I can't wait until that is me!" It's going to be a while still but part of me wishes I could just snap my fingers and have my finished record in my hands and start crying little tears of joy. BUT then the other part of me is telling me to enjoy the process and the waiting and the scheduling and rescheduling of studio time because it will all feel so worth the wait when it's done. *dramatic sigh*

Jered was in the studio last week for his first session putting down drum tracks. He was there for a few hours and finished one song called "Heavy Heart." I haven't heard it yet but I am excited to see what he did with the song. We've played it live a million times over and I loved what he did live, so I have complete faith in him that he did something great. I wish I could have been there, but unfortunately our schedules are so opposite that he went while I was working during the day. He was supposed to be going again yesterday but setting up his drums, mic-ing them, recording and then taking them down in time to get to work just couldn't be done. He's going to take a few days in early january off of work and get it all done in one go so he can get his set up and keep it - he tells me so that the drum tracks are consistent.

Starting to work on this record has unleashed a longing for a creative outlet in me that I think I temporarily forgot about. It's so easy when you have a day job to just bunker down into the daily routine and just getting work done and getting home to read or relax, kind of letting that creative side hibernate or become dormant. I have been writing over the last few months, but just fragments of songs and ideas. Suddenly I keep having this feeling that good things are brewing inside of me, inside of my heart that I just want to let out and share with people. It's like I have so many ideas now not only for songwriting, but for writing stories, for making music videos, for touring, writing jingles, for indie films. It's a bit overwhelming because I don't really know where to start. I don't know what to pick out of this melting pot of ideas and actually act on. I know that some of these ideas can only come to fruition when the album is done, so those I can sort of file away in the back of my head for the time being. Others keep nagging at me to do something with them, so I'm trying to sort that out. It's like that exciting little feeling in the pit of your stomach that something good is going to happen, but I think that's just the feeling of inspiration that I have gone without for a while making an appearance, and well... it inspires me.

I had a rare spare moment this past sunday afternoon to curl up on my couch with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate in my new favorite mug (that my super crafty friend Christina made in her pottery class) & watch my favourite parts of "Once" - one of my favorite movies of all time, that if you haven't seen it, you should make a point to in the very near future. At the beginning of the movie there is this scene where Glen Hansard is just wailing in the streets "Say it to me now." Everytime I hear this song and watch this scene it cuts RIGHT to my heart. I want to write music that is so emotionally raw and real that people are changed by it. Marketa Irglova - one of the actresses & writers from "Once" - spoke about hope in her oscar acceptance speech and I think what I am feeling right now is a combination of inspiration and hope. Hope to be inspired and inspired to have hope, for my music, for my life, for my future.

So Happy Christmas & all that to you who read this blog (if there are any of you out there that is) and I wish you much hope and inspiration for the new year. More recording news to come in 2010.

Cheers! xo

Winter Wonderland!

a fun little christmas video... enjoy!

long stretch...

Well it has been a while since our last recording session. Scheduling Brent to come in and record is always a bit of a challenge seeing that he has a day job, a wife, a two year old girl and a five month old baby boy (plus all his other extra curriculars in life - he is a busy guy!). I don't want to take him away from him family life too much, since I know my sister really loves her quality time with her husband and I understand the importance of him being home with his babies. So we had to reschedule a few times, but last night we finally got in the studio for a good couple of hours.

It was definitely a productive evening by the end of it, but it started out a little rougher than our first few sessions. We ended up changing the key of one of the songs because it felt like it should sit higher in my vocal range. We also decided that this song shouldn't be recorded with a metronome/click track because we want it to be more emotionally driven. The song is one I wrote about my journey through life with scoliosis - curvature of the spine. It's about the surgery I eventually had and what the scar that I have now represents to me. I haven't sung this song in particular in a while, so getting back into it last night was again - emotional! Who knew recording a record could be so draining. For the first 3/4 of my life, scoliosis was my biggest hurdle. I was going to the doctor every three months, I was wearing a back brace for seven years, and then I had to have surgery and miss months of school during my graduating year. It was rough but what I feel is a powerful song has come from all of it. The song is going to be one of the simpler songs on the record with just vocals, piano and cello. I want people to feel a certain vulnerability. I want everyone who has a scar(s), or who has had a major surgery or health issue in their life to be able to relate to it and to be empowered.

Over the process of the last few sessions, I have been thinking about all the people before me who have recorded albums. From my fellow local indie artists making honest pure music and being involved in every step of the project, to the mass produced pop artists that rely on other people to write their songs, other people to make the major decisions on who plays on the record, to how the song is arranged, to what harmonies are used, etc. How different making a record would be if I wasn't so emotionally invested in each song I've written. If I wasn't having my family playing the instruments, if I wasn't trusting my friend Randor to engineer it the way I want it. Many moons ago when I started singing, and had initial notions of wanting someone to "discover" me and pay for me to make a record and get it sold in major markets... I had no idea what I was wishing for. Thank heavens for this slow, challenging, emotional and gratifying process.

So after we finished two more piano and guitar tracks I laid down some very rough scratch vocals. Recording vocals and singing live are so far removed from one another it blows my mind. I know that in order to get the quality of vocal I want, I'm going to have to work so incredibly hard. Don't get me wrong I am ready for it, at least I think I am *cue the blog three months down the road where I'm whining about it*. Haha..

Anyways, no pictures this time. If you need a visual, I had a cookie exchange at work yesterday so there was beer, baked goods & the three of us doing our best to make some good music. Jered starts laying down some drums next session so I will keep you posted how that goes.

xo

frame of mind

verse
some days are better than others
some days i still remember to breathe
today is just like another
excuse to me

you say i'm always the victim
well sometimes that's the plain old truth
who are you to tell me what i'm feeling
it's not up to you

chorus
i'm slowly learning it's not always such a lackluster world
you show me that i'm not only a bright eyed and naive girl
when i wake up to all that surrounds me i know i'll eventually find
it's up to me to put it all together
and to choose my frame of mind
my frame of mind

verse two
these eyes can see the world in one way
but this heart interprets all on its own
to give up or walk away
would lead to such a hopeless road

chorus
i'm slowly learning it's not always such a lackluster world
you show me that i'm not only a bright eyed and naive girl
when i wake up to all that surrounds me i know i'll eventually find
it's up to me to put it all together
and to choose my frame of mind
my frame of mind

remembrance day in a studio...

session 2...

So Randor, Brent & Jered were sweet enough to humour me and record on a stat holiday. This past wednesday we all gathered in the studio to watch/listen to Brent lay down some more piano tracks. I brought oatmeal raising cookies that I baked the night before, and second cup coffees to show my appreciation.

We only spent the afternoon in the studio, but we got another three songs done. I'm really happy with the way the piano tracks are sounding. MIDI is a pretty incredible tool. I was apprehensive on how a midi piano vs. the real thing would turn out, but I have to say I almost prefer the midi. We can choose the mood and ambience of the piano, the layout of the mics and really create the atmosphere we want for the song we're working on. You can even choose to have the sound of the key hammer! Anyways I could go on and on, but basically to listen to the track you wouldn't know it wasn't a real piano in the studio, I guess except for the fact that I just told you. Haha let's keep that our little secret. :)

I was a bit anxious to bring Jered into the studio. He has met Randor before and digs his work, but he hadn't been to the studio yet to see for himself just where we'll be making this record. His opinion means THE WORLD to me and I want the three of us (Jered, Brent and myself) to be the creative facilitators on this record. These boys are the ones whose opinions and ideas are going to fuel this thing. I know what I want and don't want, but sometimes the difference between one acoustic guitar and another, or the difference between the way one cymbal rings vs. another gets a bit over my head. I'm really lucky to have these boys around to guide me and help me make these decisions together.

As I'm singing through these songs that I've written over the past few years I'm reminded of the people I wrote the songs for, or about. Some of them are still in the same place they were when I wrote the song but for the most part everyone has really grown up and changed. I haven't had a live show since September so I haven't really put myself emotionally into the songs for about over a month. Everytime I sing the songs I've written they take me back to when I wrote them, and what I was going through, what I was feeling. I think this record is going to have a very versatile feel to it for song content. I hope when it's finished people really feel the songs. I want people to be touched by the words I've written. I want them to get to know me through my songs, but also for them to get to know themselves or get a revelation of themselves and who they are. Again, I'm getting ahead of myself as I always seem to do. I just can't contain this feeling. It's going to be a rollercoaster for the next six months making this record. Good thing I love rollercoasters!

My lovely charts.

Brent on keys..

Listening back to it all...


Randor obviously enjoying himself. ;)

More to come...

a record of making my record...

So usually I just use this blog as a casual place for me to jot down songwriting ideas, or full songs, or the odd vent about life but that is about to change!
Last week, on thursday, november 5th I went into the studio for the very first recording session of my very first full length album. I have been dreaming about, talking about and writing grants for this project for so long, that to finally be in the studio laying down the first few instrumental tracks was a surreal experience for me. After years of writing project grants to every funding initiative in the country and beyond, and never getting anywhere I've decided to just do it. I don't really know how I'm going to pay for it, or how successful it will be but I do know that I'm going to pour my heart and soul into this record. My EP just can't cut it anymore. People keep asking me when I'm going to make a record, and I always would just shrug my shoulders and say "one day". Well that day is here, is now. Tomorrow is our second session and although the finished product is FAR far away, I am beyond stoked.

I'm recording at Turnkey Audio here in Edmonton, Alberta. The engineer's name is Randor Lin. Randor is from the vast Grant MacEwan music program graduate community here in town. I found Turnkey on the internet, back when I was looking for someone to mix my EP that I recorded in my own little basement studio. I felt like we hit it off right away back then, we have very similar personalities. I knew when I finally got around to recording a full length album that I would want to do it with Randor.

Anyways back to the topic of this blog. A few days ago when I was thinking about the huge process that this record will be, I decided I wanted to have some sort of record of making my record. I want to be able to go back and relive what it was like to make my first album. So I'm going to post a diary of sorts here on this blog to document my progress.

The musicians on this album are as near and dear to my heart and the album itself. My brother in law Brent Schaitel is going to be playing keys, organ, acoustic guitar and will be singing some back up vocals. My husband Jered Evangelos will be playing all things drums and percussion. I plan to have my buddy Ryan Jacobson involved as much as possible (he is a busy psych student these days) playing electric bass. My dear friend Justin Litun will be playing upright bass on a few tracks. Other than that, I plan to have electric guitar, hopefully mandolin & harmonica (still looking for those players) and even a little cameo vocal performance by my niece Isla Joy.

I have so many plans, but I have to take a deep breath and calm myself when I start thinking about it all because I don't want to rush it. I also don't want to drag it out to death, but I most importantly want to nurse this little baby. Her name by the way is going to be "Prairie Bell," which is the name of one of the songs that will be on the record. It's the song on the record that I think most accurately describes me as a person. A city girl, with a heart for the prairies, winter, road trips, patchwork farms, and most importantly my family and friends. These are things I hold close. Just like I am going to hold this record close to my heart!

Ok ok. Enough drama and silliness. In all seriousness this is probably going to be the biggest (personal) accomplishment of my life up to this point and I just want to make sure I don't forget about all these feelings that I'm currently experiencing when I look back on it a year or ten years from now. More updates to come.

brent laying down piano on "Here's A Love".

Randor & Brent working hard.

me laying down some scratch vocals.

grace like rain

verse
i'm longing for a peace, that transcends my understanding
my spirit is so weak but your love is never ending
your truth is all i need and i'm finally surrendering my heart, to you

new mercies everyday, even though i am not worthy
i get lost along the way, but you still reach out to help me
i stumble and you wait, for me to get back on my feet and live my life, for you

chorus
your grace, like rain
is falling down, on me

your grace, is like a flood
it fills me up, and sets me free

back to you

*a new song i'm working on. not autobiographical incase you were wondering. a story of losing your way and then finding your way back.

verse
i don't like who i've become today
it seems the worst has got the best of me
how did i fall so hard, and fall so fast
i never felt quite this hopeless

chorus
but i'm finding my way, back to you
you know my heart, you know the truth

verse two
i know old habits are hard to break
i get a little closer with every breath i take
how did i ever think this was ok
i'm worth too much to just give it all away

chorus
and i'm finding my way, back to you
you know my heart, you know the truth

better things

*wrote this song after receiving a bunch of rejection letters from various funding programs, showcase opportunities, etc. receiving these letters is a standard part of my life these days, but on this particular day i decided to sit down and write out the frustrations.


verse
someday i'm gonna show you
that i am, strictly self sufficient
that's a promise i'll hold on to
until this restlessness is nonexistent

i'm gonna prove, that i can do
anything i want to
i don't need your self righteous help
i can do this by myself
without you, because

chorus
i believe in better things
i believe in happy endings
i believe in conciously moving forward
i believe in so much more
than this

verse two
this power of injustice will only,
push these feelings further
so sick and tired of this,
fight to make all of it matter

i'm gonna prove, that i can do
anything i want to
i don't need your superficial help
i can do this by myself
without you, because

chorus
i believe in better things
i believe in happy endings
i believe in conciously moving forward
i believe in so much more
than this

piece of my heart

verse
i heard about an old friend today
he died so unexpectedly
he wasn't that much older than me

it got me thinking about the ones i love
and if i tell them even near enough
exactly what they mean to me

chorus
so this, this is for you
for everything you do
for everything you are

if my life, suddenly runs out
you'll never have to doubt
you had a piece of my heart
you know you have a piece of my heart you know you have a piece of my heart

verse

you love me like nobody else
make me feel like i can be myself
even when i'm feeling down

no matter what might come my way
you'll always have a part of me
so i'm telling you right here, right now

chorus
that this, this is for you
for everything you do
for everything you are

if my life, suddenly runs out
you'll never have to doubt
you had a piece of my heart
you know you have a piece of my heart
you know you have a piece of my heart

woman of integrity

*i recently wrote this song after being named the JACOB AMBASSADOR. i wanted to read their mission statement, and find out what being a part of this company meant. their company's values are integrity, passion, authenticity, respect and team spirit. what a great thing to be a part of! www.jacob.ca

verse

i'm just trying to make my way

through this crazy world we're livin' in

so i'm takin it day by day

and I live my life with a passion

prechorus

there's so many ways that i could go

i choose to take the highest road

chorus

because i am a woman of integrity

aware of my own beauty

living life as honestly as i know how and

i am a woman of humility

respect and authenticity

and i'm never backing down

because i am a woman of integrity

of integrity

verse

always cautious with my words

because i know they can life somebody up

instead of inflicting hurt

i choose to shower my surroundings with love

prechorus

with so many things that i could be

i work to bring out the best in me

chorus

new song in progress..

it hasn't been a very fruitful couple of months songwriting wise for me. i feel like i've been a little too busy to be really inspired. but, after a lengthy conversation with a friend the other day, i started to write this song... at the moment it's titled the suffering.

the suffering

verse
i am tired of searching for something, i can't see
and i have so many questions,
but no one has the answers i need
and it has, absolutely nothing
and absolutely everything to do with grief
because i have been waiting
and i'm oh so willing to believe

chorus
but i'm blinded by the suffering
and i'm blinded by my analytical way of thinking
i'm blinded by the pain
but mostly i'm, blinded by the suffering
the suffering

verse
i am so desperate to hold onto truth with my own two hands
my head is so full of logic, that it seems too simple for me to understand
how it has absolutely nothing
and absolutely everything to do with a friend
i've spent my whole life waiting
and i'm oh so willing for it all to end

chorus
but i'm blinded by the suffering
and i'm blinded by my analytical way of thinking
i'm blinded by the pain
but mostly i'm, blinded by the suffering
the suffering

his love

*in progress.

verse
i know
you've got a hole in your heart
and you've been trying oh so hard
to cover it up, to cover it up

but i know
somebody who can help you out
i wanna tell you all about
his love, his love

chorus
he's gonna fill you up
he can take the pieces
and put you back together
with a healing touch
the kind of thing you just can't get
enough of
his love, his love

keep me mindful

*the beginnings of a new worship song i'm working on.

verse
sometimes when my days are flying by
i get so caught up in life
that i forget you

those days
when the world is spinning way too fast
i need you first, but i put you last
i don't know why i do

chorus
so keep me mindful
keep me mindful Lord,
keep me mindful
of your love, your grace, your word
keep me mindful Lord
keep me mindful of you
keep me mindful
in all i say & do

bridge
with your name
on my lips
you give me
reason to live (x2)

chorus
so keep me mindful
keep me mindful Lord,
keep me mindful
of your love, your grace, your word
keep me mindful Lord
keep me mindful of you
keep me mindful
in all i say & do

gypsy

*this is a song i started writing a long time ago, but forgot about until recently it popped into my head along with some new lyrics. it's still not finished but here's what i have so far.

verse
she's got her clothes
in a garbage bag
in the corner of her room
so she can get on up & go
when she needs to
she's been running for so long
she doesn't know where to run to

verse two
no place of her own
just a history
of barely getting by
a couple friends
on down the road
put her up for the night
but she's so
she's so tired

chorus
she's a gypsy
and she's lonely
she's got her bangles & her bells
and the stories that she tells
to me

she's a gypsy
lost & empty
she's a wounded soul
but she's beautiful
to me