I've been wanting to write a song about my journey through life with scoliosis (curvature of the spine) for so long. After watching so many beautiful original storytelling songs this weekend at the CCMA week (canadian country music week in Winnipeg, MB) these lyrics starting pouring into my head. It's still in the first draft stages, but here it is.
this scar,
tells a story
and it always reminds me
of where i've been
this scar,
runs from the nape of my neck
down to the small of my back
and it's part of who i am
after nine long hours
of blood, sweat and tears,
my mama and my daddy
and a hundred prayers
i'm standing here
i'm standing here, with
this scar
it represents my life
and a good old fashioned fight
with the willingness to survive
this scar
says it's okay to be scared
as long as you're prepared
to learn how strong you are
this scar
this scar
taught me a lesson
that i won't be forgetting
anytime soon
this scar
is turning eight years old
and it seems so long ago
that i was counting down the days to
nine long hours
of blood, sweat and tears,
my family and my friends
and a hundred prayers
i'm standing here
i'm standing here
this scar
represents my life
and a good old fashion fight
with the willingness to survive
this scar
says it's okay to be scared
as long as you're prepared
to learn just how strong you really are
this scar
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
rough couple of weeks
So I can't quite help but wonder if there is a jinx on me these past couple of weeks. A few weeks ago it all started when I went to the dentist for my yearly check up. I left in tears, after my dentist coldly told me I needed six fillings, a root canal, two crowns, my wisdom teeth extracted, and veneers for my front bottom three teeth (yes I only have three, unlike most people with four). It was going to cost me roughly $5,000!! Do I look like the kind of person who can just drop that kind of cash on their teeth? I don't think so. I don't know why I took it so hard (my period was just around the corner which may have lent my emotions a little push) but I had to go home afterwards because I was SO upset. I cried, cried, CRIED all night. I was housesitting for my folks, and taking care of their dog, and my own. Jered was in Ontario for one of his longest stretches of touring.
I decided that night to get a second opinion the next week. Two days later while having dinner with my girlfriend Erica, my parent's dog Bailey was crying at the bottom of the stairs. I went down to see what was wrong and her back legs were all splayed out behind her at awkward angles. To make a ridiculously long story short, I spent the night at the emergency vet. The emergency vet told me that without an emergency CT scan & back surgery in Calgary that very night I would probably have to put Bailey down by the morning. This is my childhood dog, that has been around for 13 years of my life (over half of my existence) so I prayed and prayed that I wouldn't have to put her down. A call at 1am (I couldn't sleep anyways) told me I could come get her to transfer Bailey to her own vet the next morning @ 7:30am. So over the next few days Bailey was stable in her paralyzed condition and finally I got to bring her home to my folks place Friday after lunch. The next three days consisted of me taking her out every hour to let her pee (she couldn't use her back legs) and giving her meds every couple hours.
So the next week I went to my 2nd opinion dentist, and thankfully they told me I didn't need HALF the work the first dentist recommended. *SIGH OF RELIEF* I was very happy to say the least. After all the stress of that week I got a really bad cough & sore throat. I was panicking trying to get better by the weekend because I had three shows scheduled, opening for Winnipeg Folk Artist Kerri Woelke. These shows had been booked for at least 4 months and I was really looking forward to them.
THEN to my dismay, I got an email Friday morning from the promoter who had booked the series of shows with Kerri, saying she had to cancel last minute because of laryngitis. So I decided to still have the Friday night show at Axis Cafe. I love playing there, and usually bring in a huge crowd. Unfortunately due to the long weekend & Kerri's last minute cancellation there weren't too many people there. We had a blast playing, and my most loyal friends came out to watch, but I couldn't help but feel like I had let Axis down. Since we had such a poor turnout Friday night I decided to just cancel Saturday's show and not waste Axis's time and staff.
Sunday's show ended up being a pretty great success, lots of people came out and we had a REALLY great time playing. Sold a bunch of cds.
After feeling like I was totally over my cough on the weekend, I woke up Tuesday morning with a WICKED sinus cold/infection. I RARELY get sick, but ever since I started working at the hospital I have caught everything that's been going around. I suffered through yesterday at work and I'm feeling much better today. BUT this morning I had my first dental appt of 3, and they did two fillings. Turns out one of those fillings would have served me better as a root canal, but we decided to go ahead with the filling and see how I do. So now I'm on an antibiotic and painkillers. I'm sitting at work with a VERY frozen face, trying to eat and drink and spilling and drooling all over myself.
So tomorrow I have the day off and I'm off to the Canadian Country Music Week in Winnipeg. I'm very excited about it and hoping that my luck starts to turn around a bit. I feel like one more negative thing and I'll shatter into pathetic little pieces. *SIGH*
I decided that night to get a second opinion the next week. Two days later while having dinner with my girlfriend Erica, my parent's dog Bailey was crying at the bottom of the stairs. I went down to see what was wrong and her back legs were all splayed out behind her at awkward angles. To make a ridiculously long story short, I spent the night at the emergency vet. The emergency vet told me that without an emergency CT scan & back surgery in Calgary that very night I would probably have to put Bailey down by the morning. This is my childhood dog, that has been around for 13 years of my life (over half of my existence) so I prayed and prayed that I wouldn't have to put her down. A call at 1am (I couldn't sleep anyways) told me I could come get her to transfer Bailey to her own vet the next morning @ 7:30am. So over the next few days Bailey was stable in her paralyzed condition and finally I got to bring her home to my folks place Friday after lunch. The next three days consisted of me taking her out every hour to let her pee (she couldn't use her back legs) and giving her meds every couple hours.
So the next week I went to my 2nd opinion dentist, and thankfully they told me I didn't need HALF the work the first dentist recommended. *SIGH OF RELIEF* I was very happy to say the least. After all the stress of that week I got a really bad cough & sore throat. I was panicking trying to get better by the weekend because I had three shows scheduled, opening for Winnipeg Folk Artist Kerri Woelke. These shows had been booked for at least 4 months and I was really looking forward to them.
THEN to my dismay, I got an email Friday morning from the promoter who had booked the series of shows with Kerri, saying she had to cancel last minute because of laryngitis. So I decided to still have the Friday night show at Axis Cafe. I love playing there, and usually bring in a huge crowd. Unfortunately due to the long weekend & Kerri's last minute cancellation there weren't too many people there. We had a blast playing, and my most loyal friends came out to watch, but I couldn't help but feel like I had let Axis down. Since we had such a poor turnout Friday night I decided to just cancel Saturday's show and not waste Axis's time and staff.
Sunday's show ended up being a pretty great success, lots of people came out and we had a REALLY great time playing. Sold a bunch of cds.
After feeling like I was totally over my cough on the weekend, I woke up Tuesday morning with a WICKED sinus cold/infection. I RARELY get sick, but ever since I started working at the hospital I have caught everything that's been going around. I suffered through yesterday at work and I'm feeling much better today. BUT this morning I had my first dental appt of 3, and they did two fillings. Turns out one of those fillings would have served me better as a root canal, but we decided to go ahead with the filling and see how I do. So now I'm on an antibiotic and painkillers. I'm sitting at work with a VERY frozen face, trying to eat and drink and spilling and drooling all over myself.
So tomorrow I have the day off and I'm off to the Canadian Country Music Week in Winnipeg. I'm very excited about it and hoping that my luck starts to turn around a bit. I feel like one more negative thing and I'll shatter into pathetic little pieces. *SIGH*
Friday, August 29, 2008
up and down
it has been a weird day.
the day started off with a feeling of accomplishment and elation, because after months of pouring my heart and soul into my personal music project grant application for the alberta foundation for the arts, i was finally finished and handed it in 3 days early of the deadline. i have also been working on a music therapy project grant for the hospital i work for, so i dropped that off also. the afa office is just a few blocks from home so i drove to work bopping to the radio feeling a great sense of hope that maybe i will get a grant, and be able to record a full length album this winter.
then i got to work, and sipped on my chai latte and checked my emails. i was really looking forward to a weekend full of shows. i was supposed to be opening for a winnipeg folk artist named kerri woelke fri, sat AND sun night. maybe it's a little silly but i was feeling good about three consecutive shows because i haven't ever had that. and i was looking forward to meeting a more experienced singer/songwriter and having her listen to my set. anyways one of my emails came from rob, a local concert promoter who had set the series of shows with kerri up. the email said kerri wasn't coming. she has been struggling with vocal health problems and had to cancel. well, isn't that lovely? nothing like last minute notice.
so it's almost time to go home, and get ready for tonight's show but i'm not even sure if i'm still playing. i have been promoting these shows for months, so i'm sure some friends & family of mine are coming but just for a one set show, just me? not that that's a problem, just i HATE being unorganized.
throughout the day i've felt excited and anxious about the cmt songwriting contest, a little lost and confused about what's going to happen with these shows this weekend now that we have no headliner, then i start thinking about next week and the ccma weekend in winnipeg. i'm such a rollercoaster of conflicting emotions!
the weekend will fly by, as will next week and suddenly i'll be in winnipeg. by this time next week i'll be sitting in some songwriter's session. hopefully i'll have control of my up and down emotions by then?
the day started off with a feeling of accomplishment and elation, because after months of pouring my heart and soul into my personal music project grant application for the alberta foundation for the arts, i was finally finished and handed it in 3 days early of the deadline. i have also been working on a music therapy project grant for the hospital i work for, so i dropped that off also. the afa office is just a few blocks from home so i drove to work bopping to the radio feeling a great sense of hope that maybe i will get a grant, and be able to record a full length album this winter.
then i got to work, and sipped on my chai latte and checked my emails. i was really looking forward to a weekend full of shows. i was supposed to be opening for a winnipeg folk artist named kerri woelke fri, sat AND sun night. maybe it's a little silly but i was feeling good about three consecutive shows because i haven't ever had that. and i was looking forward to meeting a more experienced singer/songwriter and having her listen to my set. anyways one of my emails came from rob, a local concert promoter who had set the series of shows with kerri up. the email said kerri wasn't coming. she has been struggling with vocal health problems and had to cancel. well, isn't that lovely? nothing like last minute notice.
so it's almost time to go home, and get ready for tonight's show but i'm not even sure if i'm still playing. i have been promoting these shows for months, so i'm sure some friends & family of mine are coming but just for a one set show, just me? not that that's a problem, just i HATE being unorganized.
throughout the day i've felt excited and anxious about the cmt songwriting contest, a little lost and confused about what's going to happen with these shows this weekend now that we have no headliner, then i start thinking about next week and the ccma weekend in winnipeg. i'm such a rollercoaster of conflicting emotions!
the weekend will fly by, as will next week and suddenly i'll be in winnipeg. by this time next week i'll be sitting in some songwriter's session. hopefully i'll have control of my up and down emotions by then?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
signed, your broken heart
*this is a song i recently wrote with my friend casadie jo pederson
www.myspace.com/casadiejpederson
i'm gonna put pen to paper
sit down and write a letter
that won't be easy to read
it's been two months
and a couple days
since my whole world was changed
when he walked away, from me
with just a single phone call
who knew that he would end it all
and leave me here alone to cry
too many tears, and too much pain
makes me wanna fly away
and just forget he said goodbye
it's time to pick up the pieces
off the hardwood floor
put them back together
even stronger than before
it's not gonna be easy
i know it's gonna be hard
but i'm ready when you are,
signed, your broken heart
i'm gonna forget the heartache
every stupid mistake
he brought along for the ride
no more cheating lies
i'm gonna dry these eyes
and find somebody who can
heal me on the inside
and pick up the pieces
off the hardwood floor
put them back together
even stronger than before
it's not gonna be easy
i know it's gonna be hard
but i'm ready when you are
signed, your broken heart
www.myspace.com/casadiejpederson
i'm gonna put pen to paper
sit down and write a letter
that won't be easy to read
it's been two months
and a couple days
since my whole world was changed
when he walked away, from me
with just a single phone call
who knew that he would end it all
and leave me here alone to cry
too many tears, and too much pain
makes me wanna fly away
and just forget he said goodbye
it's time to pick up the pieces
off the hardwood floor
put them back together
even stronger than before
it's not gonna be easy
i know it's gonna be hard
but i'm ready when you are,
signed, your broken heart
i'm gonna forget the heartache
every stupid mistake
he brought along for the ride
no more cheating lies
i'm gonna dry these eyes
and find somebody who can
heal me on the inside
and pick up the pieces
off the hardwood floor
put them back together
even stronger than before
it's not gonna be easy
i know it's gonna be hard
but i'm ready when you are
signed, your broken heart
Monday, July 14, 2008
your truth
you lift me up
you fill my cup
until i overflow
among the crowds
i cry out loud
that i need you so
and it hurts to see
that they don't even
know you
so i'm praying just
to have the strength
to show them your truth
my simple song
my simple heart
my simple faith
will it be enough
to show your love
to show your grace
and it hurts to see
that they don't even
know you
so i'm praying just
to have the strength
to show them your truth
©2008 lisanicolegrace
you fill my cup
until i overflow
among the crowds
i cry out loud
that i need you so
and it hurts to see
that they don't even
know you
so i'm praying just
to have the strength
to show them your truth
my simple song
my simple heart
my simple faith
will it be enough
to show your love
to show your grace
and it hurts to see
that they don't even
know you
so i'm praying just
to have the strength
to show them your truth
©2008 lisanicolegrace
lay my life down
when the wrong in the world
is weighing on me
and i feel too small to do
anything
i just lay my life down
i lay my life
when the meaningless grind
of the day to day
is all consuming
in every way
i just lay my life down
i lay my life
you alone are all i need
you're the bread of my life
you're the air that i breathe
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down at your feet
you alone are the only one
who can fill me up
till i'm overcome
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
you alone are all i need
you're the bread of my life
you're the air that i breathe
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down at your feet
you alone are the only one
who can fill me up
till i'm overcome
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down
©2008 lisanicolegrace
is weighing on me
and i feel too small to do
anything
i just lay my life down
i lay my life
when the meaningless grind
of the day to day
is all consuming
in every way
i just lay my life down
i lay my life
you alone are all i need
you're the bread of my life
you're the air that i breathe
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down at your feet
you alone are the only one
who can fill me up
till i'm overcome
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
i lay my life down
you alone are all i need
you're the bread of my life
you're the air that i breathe
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down at your feet
you alone are the only one
who can fill me up
till i'm overcome
so i lay my life down at your feet
i lay my life down
©2008 lisanicolegrace
Monday, July 7, 2008
prairie bell
*i've had this song churning around in my mind for a while now, and finally finished it last week and then put chords to it last night with jered (husband) and brent (brother). it was inspired by my friend ryan's niece, who's name is prairie bell. when i heard her name i thought to myself, that is me! i am a prairie bell! a city girl on the outside (i admit i'm a bit high maintenance when it comes to make up & hair) but a prairie girl on the inside (i love the prairies, the countryside, country music, etc). soon after i started writing this song... which i hope will be the title of my full length album that will be in the works in the winter/spring of 2008/09.
prairie bell
in my daddy's backyard
there's a sky stretching out
just as far as i can see
with my arms open wide
and my head thrown back
i know i'm right where i want to be
and when i'm flying home
from wherever i've been
there's a view below i know so well
it's a patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
when i'm home
there's no place i'd rather be
and when i'm gone
you know i take a little piece with me
and it doesn't take long
for this sentimental soul to tell
about the patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
in this city girls' heart
there's a little soft spot
for a field blowing in the breeze
like a river of gold
growing up from the ground
when it's starting to surround me
and when i'm driving home
from wherever i've been
there's a road i only know so well
among the patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
when i'm home
there's no place i'd rather be
and when i'm gone
you know i take a little piece with me
and it doesn't take long
for this sentimental soul to tell
about the patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
some say home is where the heart is
you'll find, no greater truth than this
in my daddy's backyard
there's a sky stretching out
just as far as i can see
with my arms open wide
and my head thrown back
i know i'm right where i want to be
and when i'm flying home
from wherever i've been
there's a view below i know so well
it's a patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
it's a patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
©2008 lisa nicole grace
prairie bell
in my daddy's backyard
there's a sky stretching out
just as far as i can see
with my arms open wide
and my head thrown back
i know i'm right where i want to be
and when i'm flying home
from wherever i've been
there's a view below i know so well
it's a patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
when i'm home
there's no place i'd rather be
and when i'm gone
you know i take a little piece with me
and it doesn't take long
for this sentimental soul to tell
about the patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
in this city girls' heart
there's a little soft spot
for a field blowing in the breeze
like a river of gold
growing up from the ground
when it's starting to surround me
and when i'm driving home
from wherever i've been
there's a road i only know so well
among the patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
when i'm home
there's no place i'd rather be
and when i'm gone
you know i take a little piece with me
and it doesn't take long
for this sentimental soul to tell
about the patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
some say home is where the heart is
you'll find, no greater truth than this
in my daddy's backyard
there's a sky stretching out
just as far as i can see
with my arms open wide
and my head thrown back
i know i'm right where i want to be
and when i'm flying home
from wherever i've been
there's a view below i know so well
it's a patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
it's a patchwork of snowy farm
and windy highway that's home
to this prairie bell
©2008 lisa nicole grace
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